so many beautiful houses here in key west! today is our last day in @thefloridakeys and over the course of this past week i’ve come to understand why the people who live in the keys love it so much and why some people who are just visiting end up deciding to move here. i’ve also had 12 different key lime pies (all of which were delicious) and tons of fresh seafood. and, of course, happy to have shared it all with @heydavina who puts up with me cause that’s what friends are for. happy friday! 🏡 #tastethekeys
I didn’t get to post this on time because I wanted to really think about how to properly express myself.
Let me share a something personal. I suffered from PTSD and went through depression for a year upon returning to NYC from being deployed in a difficult duty station.
Going through depression is not the same as being sad. It is a profound sadness that I could actually feel in my bones. I always felt that getting out of bed each morning and being fully functional and deliver at work, while fulfill my responsibilities at home and in my personal life were nothing short of miraculous.
Being an introvert and the type of person who solves her problems on her own only made me go deeper into myself. True, having friends who have the warmest and biggest hearts who would be there for me and listen and not judge. But depression is something you can’t really explain to anyone. I couldn’t understand what was going on within me as I had no desire to be sociable - preferring to sleep the whole day if I could as it was only in my state of sleep where I could escape the sadness and seemingly infinite darkness. It even came to a point when, crossing the street to my workplace, the thought of walking in front of an incoming bus to end it all crossed my mind. So unexpected that I was even surprised for that thought to have occurred.
Sleep and books are where I took comfort and refuge from the inexplicable pain. Books transported me to different worlds, made me forget the pain and escape the profound sadness and darkness that enveloped me. “Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures”, a memoir of three young people who joined the UN in Cambodia with a dream of making the world a better place, was my catharsis. It made my cry and laugh and relive my experience while in deployment and created the peace that I was looking for for a year.
My catharsis may not be the same as others who may have experienced or are still experiencing depression. But I encourage you to talk to trusted friends and loved ones. Seek help from a from a professional. I am also here if you need someone to talk to. Or to just listen. To have someone who understands and will not pass judgment. [17/365]