A story: Once upon a time (that time being year ago, 6 months ago even) it would’ve completely derailed my entire life that my laptop crashed yesterday. My suicidal depression would’ve taken this unfortunate tech-dump & turned it into one more reason added to a long list I had to no longer participate in this life. I would’ve been thinking about how this shit (laptops crashing) always happens to me (also: it happens to everyone). I would’ve been thinking about spending money I didn’t have on a new laptop I didn’t even want only to have that one crash in however many more years (because Negative Nancy). I would’ve been thinking what the fuck is the point. Of a laptop. Of life.
The two would’ve been inseparable, my brain would’ve been incapable of thinking about the crashed laptop without also thinking about taking my life. Because that’s what the lens of depression does, it takes over every thought and makes it its own. It finds the negative in every situation and feeds on it. It makes everything worse than it is and prevents you from seeing any different. In the case of suicidal depression, it convinces you the only answer is to not be here anymore.
It’s taken several years, a dozen+ meds, transcranial magnetic stimulation, ketamine, nutrition, exercise, therapy and more to get me to the safe and stable place where my laptop can crash and it doesn’t put me in harm’s way. To get me to the place where I buy a new one and move on with my life. To get me to the place where my life isn’t threatened by something that happens to people every day.
To get me to the place where I’m stable ...enough.
And here’s the reality: am I mentally & physically at 100%? No. I have a long way to go to continue getting well & to stay well. But now that I’ve gone through a crashed laptop without an existential crisis attached, I know stability is worth the work.
It’s worth the pain.
It’s worth the struggle.
It’s worth the devastation.
It’s worth the breaking down and building back up that automatically comes with recovering from depression.
And it’s worth it for you.
Love & Manifest from here,
11551 hour ago
A reminder that we are all enough. Just as we are 🌻 #gratitudeapp
Gratitude App: http://gratefulness.me/
Follow @gratefulness.me ☮️☮️
756129 hours ago
So many posts about the dangers of tanning and the negative impacts but like anything there are positives in small controlled amounts.
Sunlight and darkness trigger the release of hormones in your brain. Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused.
Getting between 5-15 minutes of sunshine on your arms, hands and face, two to three times a week is enough to give you that vitamin D boost you need for those seratonin levels which in turn can help your depression.
8 days left of Summer! Enjoy it whilst it lasts 🌞🌻❤️.
548721 minutes ago
#365 there are days when everything is fine. There’s a balance between the two jobs, additional amount of free time etc. And all this day I’ve been panicky, shaky and irritated and so freaking furious with myself for spiralling into this instead of appreciating what I have. And you know what, cupcakes? Doesn’t work that way, apparently. My mom saw me, climbing out of a stupid panic attack, itchy and flinching, and told me: “you shall stop putting on your fake happy human face in some situations, you know it? That’s why you’re so exhausted”. By the time I usually post my sketches I’ve nearly finished my commission, took my meds, drew a small doodle for wonderful people, and actually felt better. Currently I’m ashamed and slightly disgusted with myself to share this sketch. But I’ll do it anyway. Because sometimes your fake happy human face makes it worse.
Иногда бывает, что все в полном порядке, но все равно идёт наперекосяк. Я весь день то трясусь (привет, сосед тревожность) от страха и отвращения, то снова трясусь, но уже от злости на себя, что так бездарно провожу время. По-видимому, это так не работает. Маман, увидев меня, сердито дергающуюся, выползая из незваной панической атаки, сказала: «иногда нужно перестать делать лицо довольного человека, ты в курсе?». К тому времени, как я собралась выкладывать скетч, я съела своё лекарство, почти закончила заказ, нарисовала картинку для двух дивных людей и почувствовала себя лучше. Сейчас мне стыдно и немного противно делиться этим скетчем и этой подписью. Но я все равно делюсь, потому что иногда лицо довольного человека только делает тебе хуже. #1page1day#sketch#doodle#drawing#dailydrawing#dailyart#dailysketch#ink#watercolor#mentalhealth#anxiety#depression#instaart#instadraw#artistsoninstagram#mankastories#illustration#скетч#рисунок
A little afternoon thought.. 💭
I believe we were all created as a shade of something that wasn’t ever meant to blend in. It’s something that stands out — and shines all on its own. 💫
756278 hours ago
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”
— Rick Warren
Yes, yes, yesssss! (Also, this has been quoted as Dave Chappell, and though I am a fan, it’s wrong haha). For those who know me, those whom I’ve only met, and those who I will meet, this is what I hope you know and remember me by. I only ever pray that I am a safe place for others to rest into who they truly are, and are able to feel at ease in being their whole self around me, free of judgment and hate, because in all your flaws and weirdness, you are exactly who you are supposed to be! It may be dreary and cold out, but let a little love in, send a little love out— you’ll be surprised how it can brighten everything around you. 💕
894567 hours ago
Latest Instagram Posts
***Full Poem below*** Black Dogs
The light dims in my brain.
The serotonin starts to drain.
the spell undone.
The darkness comes.
from a distance.
The fogginess defusing;
In my confusion
there's no resistance.
I see it,
in my dreams,
in my eyes,
is that really me?
Binding my hands into fists,
gritting my teeth.
Thumping my chest; I feel it
chiseling names into my heart,
that had almost weathered.
to last forever.
Encircling me like a pack
The attack is coming.
I can't call.
100 places to go
for protection but I'm
with no sense of direction.
If you feel the darkness coming, you are not alone.
Talk to your parents, your partner, your ex, best friend, your teacher, your manager, your doctor, your neighbor, your barber, the homeless guy, talk to anyone.
You don't have to talk about anything in particular, or know what to say, just talk.
If someone came to you, would you want to help?
They would too.
And if you are still lost; you can contact the below:
Charity providing support if you've been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
Men's Health Forum
24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)
And for the US: there's NAMI
1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email@example.com
Ini adalah dosa yang sering dilakukan orangtua terhadap anak mereka. Membandingkan anak sendiri dengan anak lain, dengan harapan agar anak menjadi lebih baik. Namun, bukannya anak malah berubah lebih baik, justru ia bisa semakin membangkang.
Kebiasaan membanding-bandingkan ini akan menimbulkan perasaan rendah diri pada anak, karena ia merasa tidak akan pernah bisa memuaskan orangtua. Apalagi jika hal yang dibandingkan adalah sesuatu yang di luar kemampuan anak, atau menjadi kelemahannya.
Contoh paling mudah, orangtua membandingkan nilai pelajaran anak dengan temannya yang memiliki nilai lebih tinggi. Padahal, anak belum tentu mahir di semua pelajaran. Bisa jadi dia cerdas dalam matematika, namun lemah dalam bahasa. Begitupun sebaliknya, anak memiliki bakat musik namun kurang suka belajar hingga nilai akademiknya pas-pasan.
ANXIETY ➡️ When anxiety creeps up upon you, it can come as a shock. There sometimes can be warning symptoms or it can come completely out of the blue. When you’re experiencing anxiety, it can be hard to have normal thoughts and to push past the mental barriers. Because of this, it’s important that you have a toolkit of ideas on hand for moments of despair. Sometimes, the comfort of my own home can sometimes be a place I feel suffocated. So when I’m outside, I can breathe, I’m near nature and I instantly feel revitalised. Everyday, I am now making the effort to have 30 minutes outside walking.. I walk to the gym, I get off the tube one stop earlier or I’ll go out for a walk after my lunch 💚 . This has helped my mindset and it’s really helped me stay sane in moments of craziness. Don’t gravitate to this tip for when you feel anxious... Start implementing the walks outside now. You’ll notice an amazing difference. Now I’m in the North a lot more, I walk beside the seaside. I listen to podcasts or music whilst I’m walking and it’s the most the relaxing thing ever🔆! Sometimes, I’ll even take a warm drink with me. Allll the warmth🥰! Don’t underestimate the power of nature and the great outdoors. It can do wonders for your circulation, your skin and you overall well-being 👌🏽 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• #london 🇬🇧 #happy#focus#dedication#focused#ambition#fitness#career#happiness#positive#workhard#londonist#northern#travel#travelblogger#lifestyle#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealth#wellness#natural#healthy#healthblogger#blogger#health#fitness#workout#gym#commute#london#blackpool
So Monday evening I was feeling so so shitty and rubbish but Tuesday morning I woke up and had a shower and went out to see @nanaoseilah and had such a good day!!!! Just goes to show that just because today was crap it doesn’t mean that tomorrow will be too 💛
012 minutes ago
The day the CREATIVITY died 🧟♀️🌑 TODAY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HUMP DAY!
Have you ever felt like your CREATIVITY has DIED?
When you try to do the things you LOVE and CAN’T?
When your brain just screams ‘DOES NOT COMPUTE’? This does not mean ‘RIP CREATIVITY’. Today I woke up with a NO WORDS day.
On these days, I can’t talk to people. I don’t want to see people. And I don’t want to be touched.
But life has to go on, and I have to move forward, so I take a shower, meditate and am exceptionally KIND and PATIENT with myself.
Like today, I’m meeting an old friend for BRUNCH, acknowledging that I’m not 100%. (Food always helps 🤤)
When my anxiety is HIGH, I lose words and start to stutter and stumble over them.
It feels humiliating.
Especially when I can express myself with writing the BLOG, but don’t have the words to SPEAK out loud.
Today on the blog, I talk about MENTAL HEALTH and CREATIVITY and what you can do to HELP when it feels like your brain has gone...
Let me know what you think and share where you feel it may HELP people. ❤️
COMMENT BELOW letting me know what you do to help your creativity?
What tools do you use when your creative brain stops working?
Making my mistakes, oh if you only knew... I don't think you should believe in me the way that you do.
My mental health is really suffering at the moment and I think I may be close to burning out but I have to remember that the world won’t stop if I do. The pressure doesn’t cease and I don’t know if it’s surmountable. God help me.