Blown away by the outpouring of love and generosity on @hbomberman's steam on Twitch to help Mermaids charity for young trans kids. A very worthy cause, I wish I'd had access to mermaids twenty years ago!
So.. my nightmares arent really getting any better. They started out that way, possibly a placebo effect, but now are actually seeming to get worse. I sleep so much of my day (over 12 hours easily, lately) and I'm still walking up exhausted. It's also getting harder and harder to tell whether I am in a dream or not, until I'm awake. And even then it takes me awhile to realize what was in the dream and what is reality.
It has only been 3 nights that I have taken Prozasin, and at the lowest possible dose to taper up. My seroquel dosage is supposed to be cut in half, but I decided until i know how the Prozasin will affect me that I'll remain at my regular dose.
My dreams seem to be not exactly reoccurring, as they are not the same, but always similar and always in this same world I've created. I can navigate through roads and highways, whether I walk or drive, navigate through buildings as if they haven't changed in between dreams... It's all very strange, and as interesting as it may seem I need it to stop.
I'm not getting any rest. I wake up daily, confused as to where I am. Memories I would rather block are turned into regular activities in this "world", and when I wake up it's a constant reminder of those memories.
I have tried taking time off work. I have tried moving to a jew city for a fresh start. I am living fulltime as the woman I wish to be. Something else eeds to change. I'm just not sure what that is....